Princess Fucking Scum

SPEAK TO ME   BLUH   3DS Friend Code: 1950-8268-0431
PS3 ID: CalystegiaSepium
FFXIV Name: Calystegia Sepium
Steam ID: seitekifu

solarsenpai:

siopold:

miracleyangwenli:

siopold:

the funny thing about dril posts is that they actually do have a structure to them– they hit a kind of conceptual caesura halfway through, a point where there’s no inevitable logical connection between what’s been said and what’s still to come. here, the first sentence didn’t need to result in the second, yet it’s not “lol random” either; the speaker is angry about his boss’ draconian ferret-kissing policy, and reacts in kind, and even the reference to a “screen saver” reminds us that we’re in an office. it’s a narrative progression that, despite having an internal logic, alienates its punchline from its setup. who the hell is this person?

one thing i love about @dril posts is how they all seem to take place in a universe that is somewhat like our own, but with the habitus of white middle america taken to a bizarre, absurd, but strangely logical conclusion. take this one, for instance: 

so we have our setting: a security guard protecting the american flag in the betsy ross museum, something almost archetypically american and middle class. but once again the first part, or setup, for the punchline, “fucking the flag,” careens the joke into an alien punchline that still, given the setting, makes sense. @dril’s security guard character imitates a sort-of cop-talk, the banter of a security guard, “buddy, they wont even let me fuck it”. you can imagine a similar response from a guard at any museum, but we’re talking about Fucking the American Flag, here. i really love @dril. 

it’s astonishing that a human being thinks of those posts. some person, someone out there whose existence we have to infer, because all we know is that those posts occur and they must be coming from somewhere. “the @dril​ tweeter” resonates as “the beowulf poet” does, except beowulf (which i’ve only read in translation, so i’m not an authority) has never made any use of the english language as baffling and sublime and somehow primally interlaced with the stuff of human consciousness as “IF THE ZOO BANS ME FOR HOLLERING AT THE ANIMALS I WILL FACE GOD AND WALK BACKWARDS INTO HELL.”

This is my favorite post, I am so glad I found it again.

solarsenpai:

siopold:

miracleyangwenli:

siopold:

the funny thing about dril posts is that they actually do have a structure to them– they hit a kind of conceptual caesura halfway through, a point where there’s no inevitable logical connection between what’s been said and what’s still to come. here, the first sentence didn’t need to result in the second, yet it’s not “lol random” either; the speaker is angry about his boss’ draconian ferret-kissing policy, and reacts in kind, and even the reference to a “screen saver” reminds us that we’re in an office. it’s a narrative progression that, despite having an internal logic, alienates its punchline from its setup. who the hell is this person?

one thing i love about @dril posts is how they all seem to take place in a universe that is somewhat like our own, but with the habitus of white middle america taken to a bizarre, absurd, but strangely logical conclusion. take this one, for instance: 

so we have our setting: a security guard protecting the american flag in the betsy ross museum, something almost archetypically american and middle class. but once again the first part, or setup, for the punchline, “fucking the flag,” careens the joke into an alien punchline that still, given the setting, makes sense. @dril’s security guard character imitates a sort-of cop-talk, the banter of a security guard, “buddy, they wont even let me fuck it”. you can imagine a similar response from a guard at any museum, but we’re talking about Fucking the American Flag, here. 

i really love @dril. 

it’s astonishing that a human being thinks of those posts. some person, someone out there whose existence we have to infer, because all we know is that those posts occur and they must be coming from somewhere. “the @dril​ tweeter” resonates as “the beowulf poet” does, except beowulf (which i’ve only read in translation, so i’m not an authority) has never made any use of the english language as baffling and sublime and somehow primally interlaced with the stuff of human consciousness as “IF THE ZOO BANS ME FOR HOLLERING AT THE ANIMALS I WILL FACE GOD AND WALK BACKWARDS INTO HELL.”

This is my favorite post, I am so glad I found it again.

(via bauerpower)

— 6 hours ago with 43240 notes
#dril  #i want to cry every time he pops up on my dash i love him so much  #idc if he's the ugliest mother fucker ever i will fuck @dril if i ever get to meet him 
kvncause:

Homegirl on a mission

kvncause:

Homegirl on a mission

(Source: 0925home, via pandiibutt)

— 6 hours ago with 34417 notes
ship-captain-cat:

memeguy-com:

Halloween display fell over

No. It’s a skeleton that knows how to party hard

ship-captain-cat:

memeguy-com:

Halloween display fell over

No. It’s a skeleton that knows how to party hard

(via madeldollie)

— 6 hours ago with 25898 notes
#azurejustice 
vzxy:

Quite possible the greatest tweet ever written. 

vzxy:

Quite possible the greatest tweet ever written. 

(via sugarm3pills)

— 6 hours ago with 32544 notes
polishtamales:

Awesome Gamestop exclusive pre-order DLC skins for Final Fantasy XV!

polishtamales:

Awesome Gamestop exclusive pre-order DLC skins for Final Fantasy XV!

(via pandiibutt)

— 14 hours ago with 4806 notes
unabating:

Holy shit how much does that cat weigh

unabating:

Holy shit how much does that cat weigh

(via pandiibutt)

— 14 hours ago with 167933 notes
pokethetriforce:


"In the name of the triforce, I will punish you!"

So apparently Hyrule Warriors has some killer glitches

pokethetriforce:

"In the name of the triforce, I will punish you!"

So apparently Hyrule Warriors has some killer glitches

(via distressed-robot-sounds)

— 14 hours ago with 18640 notes

masturbation-is-illegal:

marielovesgroban:

Don’t forget we have to wake up Green Day tomorrow.

image

(via hideousteeth)

— 14 hours ago with 261688 notes